Mama’s speech

 May 13, 2023

Rebekah.

First of all, it is truly an honor and a joy to be your mother. You were a sweet baby; an excellent sleeper which was very appreciated at my age. 

As you grew, through your childhood I did worry at times that you might be too sweet for this world. Too quiet to be safe.  I wondered, at times, how would you be heard and seen?

And so how absolutely perfect for this, Bamidbar, to be your torah portion. Your message on the parsha, is of course,  regarding justice and kindness, which is so representative of you. But from my perspective there are 2 essential parts to the story of Bamidbar that relate so perfectly to your growth into a young lady of integrity and strength while addressing my worries for you..

So setting the stage: Bamidbar, which of course literally means, in the desert, is a moment in our people's history of being together, but not having arrived home yet. We were a people not just waiting together; we were in an actual desert, without modern comforts, and with a significant risk of danger - not unlike the world we live in today can be. But we were together and even in a hostile place that helped us grow from whatever hardships we faced. I have seen this in you. While you prefer to endure things quietly and without much complaint, you have grown to learn to lean on your friends, your teachers, your family;  when you need help or comfort. 

The second thing that reminds me of your own journey is, when Hashem instructed Moshe to count the Jewish people, the instruction was שאו את-ראש (se’u et rosh),  to “lift their heads.”  It was that each individual may be intentionally cherished and recognized, not merely counted. As Rashi said, “Because they (the Children of Israel) are dear to Him, G-d counts them often.”

And this is what I have seen in you. I have seen, especially in the last few years, you raise up your head. I have heard you use your voice, share your heart, and demonstrate to the friends and family around you that you cherish them. You may not say everything on your mind, but you do not let an opportunity go by without saying the thing that is most important, often what the other person most needs to hear.

This life and the world we live in can be hostile and there is certainly evil in it. As you know, it has touched our own family directly, just a generation back. So how does one live with a raised head in such a world?

To quote Rabbi and author, Harold Kushner, of Blessed Memory, “Our souls are not hungry for fame, comfort, wealth, or power. Our souls are hungry for meaning, for the sense that we have figured out how to live so that our lives matter.” 

And what better way to live well than to recognize our own significance and to help others do the same. We raise our heads. We help others do the same.  And I see you, Rebekah, do just that. 

Mazal tov, to you, on all of your hard work for this day - but more than that for all the Blessings you bring to each of us, every day, that are privileged to know you.

An unexpected outcome

For Rebekah’s bat mitzvah, she opted to devote herself to a project based around Yad Vashem’s Twinning program. Through Yad Vashem, she was matched with a young girl who died during the holocaust and did not have a bat mitzvah of her own, in order to honor her.

Here are the details of her match and project, which Rebekah posted to a website we created:

https://www.eventcreate.com/e/rivkahneshama

This, in and of itself was a beautiful thing to do, but what happened on the day of Rebekah’s bat mitzvah celebration was unbelievable. Unknown to Rebekah and myself, our Rabbi, Uri Topolosky, had contacted the family of Rebekah’s match, Rivkah Low, who live here in the U.S. 

The day of the bat mitzvah, of course, Rebekah davened and leyned beautifully. Afterwards, Rebekah gave a speech and our rabbi traditionally gives the b’nei mitzvot a gift on behalf of the congregation. In this moment, however, he informed us of a surprise he had in store.

He told us how he not only reached out to Rivkah Low’s cousin but he had talked extensively with him. The cousin, Herb, was informed that Rebekah would be honoring Rivkah with her project and dedicating the day to her.  Herb was so moved and told his entire family about Rebekah, enabling generations of Rivkah Low’s cousins to participate.

In addition, Herb had sent to the rabbi a gift of a beautiful siddur, inscribed with Rebekah’s hebrew names. He also sent a card and a letter full of family pictures and information. Herb, who had submitted the information to Yad Vashem decades ago, told our Rabbi, he wondered what the submission would do - meaning his cousins and aunt and uncle were still gone. And now, here, this young lady, my Rebekah, comes along and honors his cousin with her project of candle lighting and tzedekah in Rivkah’s honor. 

May Rivkah, OBM, along with her parents, her sisters and her brother, may their memories continue to be for a Blessing.

May we all continue to celebrate life together and find connections despite any differences. May we continue to find ways to shine light in the face of darkness.