So this was not a letter to you children, but a talk I gave at shul.
And no, I will not reveal the child discussed below. In any case think of the example of a composite case study.
What is in a Gift?
When the Jews were freed from Egypt we are taught this is
preparation for a Big Gift. Shavuot honors the celebration of this great gift,
the gift of Torah, the Revelation at Mt Sinai. As it is said, “Let my people go
that they may worship me” (Exodus 7:16). We have just begun to celebrate our
freedom and 7 weeks later we are given, the very heart of our traditions and
essence of our lives as the Jewish people.
Is it important that we are Given a gift, rather than
being told we received the Gift?
To step back, let us think of who the recipients are and the
place they were in. Not physically – of course they are at Har Sinai. But who
are they, where are they in their lives? These are people that are willing to
stand ready, “All that Hashem has spoken of, we will do!” And yet soon after,
some of those that are to be honored with this great gift are the same that
gild a golden calf. There are those who demonstrate the wavering of faith. Or
maybe worse yet, sow doubt in others. These actions pave the way for recurrent
doubt while wandering the desert. As the conservative Rabbi, Irwin Kula, once
said, “it was easier to take the people out of Egypt than take Egypt out of the
people.” But there is another side to these recipients. These are people that
lived under horrible laws; laws that were meant to crush, oppress and control.
The laws of Paroh to his slaves. This was not a law that was given but one that
is forced. These were laws that robbed them of their dignity, let alone their
free will.
So back to Har Sinai. Here are the recipients. They are
faulty and they have been faulted. People who will prove - having the
gift of free will - that ours will be a story of sin and consequence, again and
again. So this brings back the question:
what if it was not a gift of Torah but the reception of Torah? What if
it was imposed and infiltrated into our souls, rather than presented and given?
Would this not change the entire nature
of the gift?
Honestly one probably cannot say what might have been if it
had been another way. It was not that way and here we are. But think of all of
that has flowed from the gift that was given. At Har Sinai we are given the
essence and the base of the Torah. And from there we have revelation after revelation.
Talmud, Midrashim, Mysticism, Philosophy. Incredible and thoughtful
explorations of what we have been given and who were are and who we can become.
Of course some of it is confusing, some of it paradoxical. But to think of all
the holy encounters, writings and experiences that have come to be because of
the great gift and the faulty recipients with the free will. If the encounter had been any other way, could
it have been as fruitful?
I once had a child of mine throw a tantrum on the day I had
prepared gifts and surprises. Not a little stomping of the feet but a full on,
category 5 hurricane of emotion and power hungry madness. A complete spasm of
psyche grasping for control and ego development in one fell swoop. Now what? Do
I correct the behavior by imposing a punishment? Do I withhold the neatly
wrapped packages I had hidden in the house for months? Do I return the presents
or turn around and give them away to a more grateful child? Do I cancel the
birthday party?
Well I certainly could not seem to reward such behavior. But
nor could I deny a child their right to errors in judgement any more than I
could cancel their party. But somewhere in the middle ground I can hope to help
a child grow into a strong, yet respectful; gracious yet fierce, happy yet
generous person. If I forced perfect reception in this headstrong child, would
any lesson be learned? Unlikely. If the encounter had been any other way, I
would not have the story to share now. Would it have been as fruitful?
Now there is a portrayal in the Talmud by Rav Avdimi of
Haifa, describing that G-d held Har Sinai over the heads of the people and
threatened a grave site if they do not freely accept the gift of Torah. So where
is that middle ground? There is the Midrash that relates that G-d is ready to
give the gift of Torah, once appropriate guarantors have been offered. After
the patriarchs and prophets are offered as guarantors and are both rejected,
The people say, “Behold, our children are our guarantors.” And it is said,
“They are certainly good guarantors. For their sake I give the Torah to you.” And
so it is. And so they are.
