the gift

So this was not a letter to you children, but a talk I gave at shul.

And no, I will not reveal the child discussed below. In any case think of the example of a composite case study.

What is in a Gift?

When the Jews were freed from Egypt we are taught this is preparation for a Big Gift. Shavuot honors the celebration of this great gift, the gift of Torah, the Revelation at Mt Sinai. As it is said, “Let my people go that they may worship me” (Exodus 7:16). We have just begun to celebrate our freedom and 7 weeks later we are given, the very heart of our traditions and essence of our lives as the Jewish people.

Is it important that we are Given a gift, rather than being told we received the Gift?

To step back, let us think of who the recipients are and the place they were in. Not physically – of course they are at Har Sinai. But who are they, where are they in their lives? These are people that are willing to stand ready, “All that Hashem has spoken of, we will do!” And yet soon after, some of those that are to be honored with this great gift are the same that gild a golden calf. There are those who demonstrate the wavering of faith. Or maybe worse yet, sow doubt in others. These actions pave the way for recurrent doubt while wandering the desert. As the conservative Rabbi, Irwin Kula, once said, “it was easier to take the people out of Egypt than take Egypt out of the people.” But there is another side to these recipients. These are people that lived under horrible laws; laws that were meant to crush, oppress and control. The laws of Paroh to his slaves. This was not a law that was given but one that is forced. These were laws that robbed them of their dignity, let alone their free will.

So back to Har Sinai. Here are the recipients. They are faulty and they have been faulted. People who will prove - having the gift of free will - that ours will be a story of sin and consequence, again and again. So this brings back the question:  what if it was not a gift of Torah but the reception of Torah? What if it was imposed and infiltrated into our souls, rather than presented and given?  Would this not change the entire nature of the gift?

Honestly one probably cannot say what might have been if it had been another way. It was not that way and here we are. But think of all of that has flowed from the gift that was given. At Har Sinai we are given the essence and the base of the Torah. And from there we have revelation after revelation. Talmud, Midrashim, Mysticism, Philosophy. Incredible and thoughtful explorations of what we have been given and who were are and who we can become. Of course some of it is confusing, some of it paradoxical. But to think of all the holy encounters, writings and experiences that have come to be because of the great gift and the faulty recipients with the free will.  If the encounter had been any other way, could it have been as fruitful?

I once had a child of mine throw a tantrum on the day I had prepared gifts and surprises. Not a little stomping of the feet but a full on, category 5 hurricane of emotion and power hungry madness. A complete spasm of psyche grasping for control and ego development in one fell swoop. Now what? Do I correct the behavior by imposing a punishment? Do I withhold the neatly wrapped packages I had hidden in the house for months? Do I return the presents or turn around and give them away to a more grateful child? Do I cancel the birthday party?

Well I certainly could not seem to reward such behavior. But nor could I deny a child their right to errors in judgement any more than I could cancel their party. But somewhere in the middle ground I can hope to help a child grow into a strong, yet respectful; gracious yet fierce, happy yet generous person. If I forced perfect reception in this headstrong child, would any lesson be learned? Unlikely. If the encounter had been any other way, I would not have the story to share now. Would it have been as fruitful?

Now there is a portrayal in the Talmud by Rav Avdimi of Haifa, describing that G-d held Har Sinai over the heads of the people and threatened a grave site if they do not freely accept the gift of Torah. So where is that middle ground? There is the Midrash that relates that G-d is ready to give the gift of Torah, once appropriate guarantors have been offered. After the patriarchs and prophets are offered as guarantors and are both rejected, The people say, “Behold, our children are our guarantors.” And it is said, “They are certainly good guarantors. For their sake I give the Torah to you.” And so it is. And so they are.