January 2016

Lucky Number 7

Dear Ella,

My goodness, what a year! We had some struggles with being six and now you seem to be growing up so fast. In this year you have learned to read and write on your own more than ever. We traveled to the beach and had some really great times with cousins and friends. We walked through some interesting things, you and I, and as a family.

The world has not really been made much safer. It actually seems to be the opposite. Some real tragedies have happened this last year all over the world. Senseless violence, heart breaking divisions among leaders that block any meaningful change. You are thankfully still “little” – although I dare not tell you that to your face. And other than some inadvertent Fox news broadcast you have overheard at Nona’s house, you have been Blessed to be sheltered from those horrors for now. And we have been Blessed to have peace here where we are. Thank G-d. But this letter, while about the last year, is about you on your Birthday.

So in our little world you have challenged us with your volume and your intensity. Some may call it stubbornness. I will go with strength. You have strength. Yet, you still have this sweet sensitivity to others that leads you to do some incredibly creative things. You have that inherent ability to see into someone and see what they might be touched by and then go for it. Like when you needed a costume and you thought of being Daddy. Down to the detail: we painted on the beard, you had the matching shirt and sweats. Even the blue-tooth he is infamous for. Or when you picked out a Lego set because you wanted to put it together for your sister (Hello Kitty dream house). Or when Rebekah was sick in the ER and you patted her hand and tried to make her laugh. Or, my favorite, on the week before your birthday, you insisted on packing my lunch and I found out why when I unpacked it the next day and found the little pink sticky note on which you wrote, “I Love You.” All by yourself.

One of the funniest things you did this year (besides the mini-me with daddy) was when you wanted a haircut. You said, “I want short hair”. I said I thought no, because you might look like a boy. Then you said, “But you have short hair.” I pointed out that it would be highly unlikely I would be mistaken for a boy…in words that made the hairdresser laugh out loud. Then you said, without a hesitation, “Mama, everyone that knows me and loves me knows I am a girl, so what does it matter what other people think.” You had your haircut. And I will start saving for law school now. Just in case.

Honestly, I am in awe of your determination and strength sometimes. Of course I cannot control where you plan on demonstrating your strength. And we do have our battles.

Sometimes I worry (you know I probably worry too much). You seem so uncomfortable sometimes. We are living in a tag-less, seamless sock, tennis shoes only, sensory toy loving environment right now, which is cool. I actually really love the pull-stretch-and-squeeze ball. It helps me with my own “pause”. And whether you actually “need” all this stuff or if the whole family needs it, it does not matter. Someone once said, it takes a village to raise a child…. Well I will say that parenting is like everything else I have encountered in my life: when I approach it by “winging it” I tend to become anxious and ineffective. When I handle it with prayer, support, laughter and a little research and help, it is a joy, an honor and a Blessing.

So you are seven. You told your Auntie that being seven is the best because it is a lucky number and you can go on some big kid rides at Disney. Seven. I remember being seven. I will tell you this – birthdays are fun and I have done it all again: decorations all over the house, presents and a birthday party I think you will always remember. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle party with a live reptile show. In my house. With 18 or so 6 -7 year olds. I am definitely going to need that pull-stretch ball….

Anyway. Birthdays are fun. And I think back to how we waited for our first born. And hoped and wished for you. And here you are. Everyday is a great adventure with you and your sister. Everyday I feel Blessed to have you in my life. I am so thankful to G-d that your soul was brought into our family, into our lives.

You are a marvelous, beautiful, hilarious and smart (scary smart) child. I love you to pieces. And I thank G-d everyday for you. You are fun, creative. You are strong willed and somewhat bossy. Maybe more than somewhat. A born leader one might say.

Most of all, and above all, you are a Blessing. And I hope you Always carry that Truth with you.

I love you, to the moon and back,
Mama