may 2015

my darlings.

I do not need to tell you what a busy year it has been. But I cannot believe it has been a year!

No excuses there. So much has happened and transitioned this year, it has been amazing. And a bit scary. So what brings me back to the world of blogger, you may ask…

I saw the sliver of a moon and you were not with me. I was working late and coming home late and missing my darling children and my amazing husband. And I saw a sliver of the moon in a deep blue-green sky. I knew I could not translate the moment or photograph it in a meaningful way. So I went from missing you both to appreciating every moment we do have.

Which brings me to what is next. In the last year you both have learned to daven so beautifully and well. I love to hear your songs of praise and prayer and celebration. And while school can teach you Ivrit and the words, how can you know the heart of the matter?

Recently someone commented that the time for prayer is the time to stop and breathe. And Blessed are we that you both have carefree lives free of terror and abject fear. We have food in our bellies and cozy beds, blankets with a roof overhead. I know you see it sometimes in your parents that when we become “grown ups” we can get “stressed” about time and money and recognition and respect. And forget to stop and see the moon, bring our hearts back to The Source, the moment.

In the morning, when I daven – whether nice and early in my chair  (you know the one) or in the car before going into work or in the halls of the hospital, I seek to go back to The Source. To center and remember what pride and fear always forget. Love. Peace. Awe. I seek for what could merely be a ritual to awaken me to faith and wonder every day.

What I want you to know is these words and songs you say and sing so beautifully can be there for you – when you fall or you hurt, have fear or shame. That whether we make a mistake or someone else does, Hashem is there, Thank G-d, and there is a comfort beyond all measure. I knowyour sweet little lives have had some challenges but not much pain (Blessed is G-d). I know that (Blessed is G-d) you both are sleeping, soundly and peacefully right now, in this moment. I just checked on you both…. I can see that you know Love. And believe you me, with all the power your father and I have we would see you comforted and safe and secure and basking in Love. But when you cannot see us, when you cannot reach for us, please know you are Always Beloved.

May your prayers and songs always be a blessing to you both. I know each time I hear your sweet words and songs, it is a blessing to me.

Yours, with love always,

Mama